Note: This is a rant. A vent. Read it. Or don't.

... I just need to let some things out.

I've dealt with migraines for about four years now.  There's some few hints that they've been going on a lot longer than that.  Now, I'm fully well aware that my lot in life really isn't that bad.  Migraines are a breeze compared to other things.  But you know what?

I'm tired of not knowing what's going on.

I'm sick of the pain, dizziness, and blackouts.

I'm frustrated that because of my symptoms, I can't drive.  Or take care of my lovely and wonderful daughters for long stretches of time.

I'm not best pleased by the waspishness and cantankerousness that comes with these symptoms.

I am beside myself with anger that I can't be as reliable at my job as I'd like.

I hate the fact that I can sit here all blasted day and be just fine... but the moment I stand up, the symptoms hit me.

I LOATHE the feelings of inadequacy and bouts of depression.


I HAAAAAATE THIS!

Iscariot Who?

Last night I finished reading Iscariot, by Tosca Lee.  Before I get to the review, I need to admit that I avoided purchasing this book for a while.  After I bought it, I still shied away from reading it.  The answer to the "Why?" is that I knew that when I had turned the last page, I would be a changed man.  Y'see, it's always nice to stay in our comfort zones...

             ... and you can't do that with this novel

Iscariot opened my eyes to things I've been unable to see:  the desperation of a people crying out for their Messiah.  Poverty, need, and horror that are only abstract concepts to most of the West.  And the brokenness of one man struggling to understand.

It's easy to vilify Judas.  How often do we talk about him as Jesus' betrayer - worthy of the hanging that ended his life?  In this novel we see a very different person.  Instead of a villain I saw a victim, laboring under  both the despair in his own life and the darkness of the world around him.  The more I read this novel the easier it was to see this man who Jesus called 'friend'... and realize how often I take on the mantle of Judas.

Through Judas' eyes I was able to see clearly just how counter-cultural Jesus' Earthly mission was.  I laughed, winced, and teared up along with Judas as he tried to fit Jesus into his own personal "Messiah mold"... and found something better.

In the end, I find myself hesitating to 'rate' this novel.  Those who are looking for a great historical speculative fiction will find that here.  But anyone who wants to read this book needs to be willing to be pushed beyond their comfort zones and have their preconceptions shattered.

Be warned: the view from the other side of the cover takes getting used to.  :D

A rant, a sigh, and despair.

I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the brouhaha (fun word!) surrounding Chik-fil-a.  I have decided that I need to weigh in.  So here it is:

First of all, many people seem to think that the president of Chik-fil-a was attacking homosexuals.  I find it unsurprising that they've missed one very important fact:  he was simply answering a question!  He did what anyone - on either side - in his position would do:  state his company's position.  Whether you agree with that position or not doesn't matter.

So now we get to the real point...

So here's the truth.  Not what anyone thinks is the truth, but the Truth:  Jesus preached unconditional love despite people's sin.  He never. Once. Said that sin was okay, or excusable.  Just that we are to love people despite it.  Now I don't know about any of you, but it seems to me that means that we're supposed to love everyone, from the person that tells a little white lie to the mass murderer to *gasp* the person who sleeps with someone of the same sex!  I could go through and find plenty of Biblical evidence - both Old and New Testament - that clearly says no to homosexuality.  But that's not the point!  It's not my - or anyone's - duty to judge people based on their choices.

Les Mis and Faith: A comparison

Hey all - just thought I'd share something that has been on my mind and heart for a while.  Les Miserables, for those who don't know, is my favorite musical.  At its core it is the story of a man named Jean Valjean.  It begins with Valjean being paroled from prison after twenty years - for simply stealing a loaf of bread.  People continually turn him away because of his 'mark of Cain' - his record.  Along the way he decides to break his parole and goes on the run.  He is offered shelter and sanctuary in a church, and ends up nearly going back to prison for stealing the silver cutlery.  The priest who took him in doesn't press charges.  In fact, Valjean is given more of the precious silver.  The priest tells him that the silver has 'bought his soul for God' - and that he must do something good with his life.  From that point on he becomes a champion of the people, opening a factory for those who have no other way to earn money.  (This is set during the French Revolution, by the way).  He raises the daughter of a woman he had allowed to die, ect.  At the end of his life Valjean is seen as a hero.

So... what does that have to do with faith?  Everything!  Jean Valjean's road to redemption is our story.  We sin, often paying tenfold for the most minor (from a human standpoint) transgressions.  We are offered forgiveness, and a chance to do something great with our lives.  It costs us though.  The world hates us, pursues us.  Satan tries to remind us of the misdeeds of yesterday, hounds us like Inspector Javier hunted Valjean throughout the years.  We are given opportunities to sacrifice, and hopefully leave a legacy that will reflect God's Glory.  

There are a few really great lessons to be learned from Les Miserables.  Valjean had an opportunity to protect an innocent woman from a lecherous manager, and didn't take it.  This led to Fantine's death.  Another time he actually gave himself up Javier to save the lives of two men.  He risked his life to save people he didn't know.  We do the same thing!  How often do we overlook a suffering person in the middle of X task for our ministries?  How often do we take the glory for something great that we did, and forget to give God the glory?  One that is too often forgotten:  How often do we decide that what we do isn't important?  

Jean Valjean was like any other human being who accepts salvation - a sinner striving for something better.  How do you want your story to end?

A New Blog

Hey all!  I decided to create a new blog.  Not much to say at the moment as I'm still waking up, but more will be coming soon.  :D